And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
