I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often