I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
