swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He has the fingertips of a God
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