I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
