Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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