i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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