Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
