@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
