Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
