Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
