Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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