This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
MIDGETS
????
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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