i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
