Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
