he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
