My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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