Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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