i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
