Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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