We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
