you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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