I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
