It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
