Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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