I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
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