Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
