Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
