I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wakey wakey hands off snakey
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
