Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Oh god it's open bar.
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