Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Only a mothe r could love this liver
where am i from again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
