Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
