u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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