What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
dude. I can hear the air.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize