The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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