Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I puked a lego.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
