Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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