she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize