Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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