He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
