So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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