I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
