Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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