I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
