I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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