I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
