If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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