why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
