I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
