I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
