i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
