If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
