he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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