I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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