Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
