Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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