I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
