You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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