I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
