her vagina looked like bernie madoff
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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