My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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