I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
