guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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