Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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