she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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