nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
